Today marks the day we said “I do!” 17 years ago. In some ways it feels like a lifetime and yet other ways it feels just like yesterday to me. I think it is funny how you hear you love someone more than the day you married them. I don’t necessarily know if I love Kris more, but it is definitely a different kind of love. It’s a kind of love that grows and matures when you are young and both working 24/7 to finish school and starting careers.
When you have been trying for almost 2 years to have a baby and the pregnancy test finally reads positive. When you get to see your husband hold that baby that you have desperately prayed for the first time. When you give your spouse the push to achieve a dream. When you now watch your kids working hard at achieving their dreams. It’s that kind of love.
I will preface this saying, I am NOT an expert on marriage.
I am NOT a marriage counselor. This is only my first hand experience at our life and marriage. I only get one shot at this life and I do not want to look back remember it fighting with Kris, but for Kris and our marriage.
I truly believe we choose happiness. It is not something that happens to us. I do not rely on Kris or anyone else to provide my happiness. People are human and will always fail us in some form or fashion. Kris will come home in a bad mood. Some days, he will come home and I will be at my whits end with the kids and snap at him. Some days our bad moods will last longer than a day, and the other one will have to have a come to Jesus meeting with the one in a bad mood and remind them what poot head they are being. This does not mean I am happy all of the time.
I will admit there have been times I am selfish.
I want Kris to change his ways or his attitude. But as soon as I turn my selfish ways into praying for Kris or looking for ways to help him, an amazing thing happens. We both will quickly snap out of our funk.
My parents celebrated 48 years of marriage this week. I want Brydon and Audrey to look to Kris and I, as I do to my parents. I never saw my parents fight. I always knew they put the other before themselves. I never doubted to this day, the love the have for each other. I want the kids to feel the unconditional love we have for one another.
Kris celebrates our anniversary, Father’s Day, and his birthday all within a 8 day span. Kris is already hard to buy for, so he gets the short end of the stick of gifts in the month of June. But I can honestly say it isn’t the material things I remember over the last 20 years together. In fact, I can only recall one anniversary gift he gave me on our 5 year anniversary. But I do remember all the memories we have made together. When I put together Kris’s gift this year, I started crying. Because when I looked at all the pictures, I see this life we have built together. And I am genuinely happy. And I am so proud of us.